Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Do You Reply?

Been thinking about the comment and reply part of blogging and get the feeling it's changed.


Again.



This post is NOT about being a no-reply comment blogger....there are tons of articles and tutorials out there to fix that.

It's about whether or not you reply to the comments you receive on your blog.

So I am just wondering....what is the latest protocol?

When I first started blogging it was all about following each other and listing in your comment all the ways you just followed that person....bloglovin', pinterest, facebook....etc.

Then I noticed that when I left a comment, the blogger not only replied to it but visited my blog in return. I adopted this practice because I thought it was a great thing to do to connect with others and do all that networking stuff.

Unless you came up as a no-reply comment blogger. Then I couldn't.

There are a handful of bloggers that reply consistently to all my comments....

.......some visit in return...

.......there are some that used to reply and don't anymore.....

.......and there are a lot that never did.

I guess it is that middle one that makes me wonder if the protocol has changed. That maybe now it's not the "thing" to do....reply to a comment on your blog.
And of those that reply to my comments, some NEVER visit me back. I am not sure why and it hurts a little when I see their comments on all the other blogs I visit.

I may never know why but for me, I just don't want to clog up someone's email with my comments that they will most likely delete.

But that's just it.



It's those reply comments that has helped me create friendships with other bloggers by chatting back and forth via email.

We have traded recipes and links, sympathized, offered prayers, and just plain wished each other a great day or weekend.


I understand the busyness of everyday life. If that is it, that's fine.


I purposely don't post on my blog when I know I may not be able to respond to comments, post in the blog parties and then visit all of those blogs, although I love doing that. I find so many great recipes and ideas at those parties, and a lot of new blogs to follow.


But you have to have the time.


So, has something changed?


Or is everyone just busy with life?


Is it just me?


Just wondering....


P.S. I don't mind at all if you don't reply by email to my comments, but I always welcome a visit to my blog!


AnnMarie xoxo


I am linking up with these fun blog parties:
Share Your Cup
No Rules Weekend Blog Party
Best of the Weekend

38 comments:

  1. Nope, not just you AnnMarie, I have been wondering the same thing! There are some bloggers that I follow and adore their blogs and leave heartfelt comments and never hear a word from them. And when you take the time to link up to parties and the host can't even acknowledge that you did so. Those are a few reasons I often feel like it is time to stop blogging.
    So glad you shared your thoughts and Happy Spring to you!
    Gina

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  2. I have seen changes too, AnnMarie, and I have only been at this for four years. If you leave a comment on my blog, I will reply on the blog and by email (if you're not no reply). It may take me a few day, because life gets busy, but I just can't image not responding to a reader. I will also visit your site if you're a blogger. I visit out of courtesy, but after four years, I have made friends and want to see what they're up to. I know that a lot of the newer bloggers do not answer or visit. I have also heard some of the bigger bloggers say they just don't have time to respond. I get it, but to me, as a writer, the interaction is the most important part of blogging...great post! :)

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  3. I completely understand where you're coming from, my friend. I, too, have left many heartfelt comments on other blogs, but I never ever hear from the writer and I must confess that when that happens over and over I tend to stop commenting. Commenting, replying to comments, and visiting blogs does indeed build a relationship and that's what I'm all about. I will say that life has gotten busier {for me} and I don't get to visit as often as I like. I still try to reply to comments left on my blog even if it's 3 days late {{smiles}}

    Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts, dear friend. Have a beautiful day! Hugs!

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  4. I'm not a blogger but I do leave comments quite often (when I can that is) and it's much appreciated to hear a reply back; even if it's just a Thank You for stopping by. It lets me know that the blogger of the site actually reads their comments.
    Now that Spring is here and I'm working outside more, I don't always have the time to leave comments each and every time.

    I Do Appreciate all the bloggers out there who gives us much inspiration; a word of comfort, etc. So to all you bloggers out there; I Thank You for inspiring me on a day to day basis.

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  5. Hi AnnMarie. I do reply to comments. I just think it's the courteous thing to do, and like you I've made a lot of great friendships that way. I was taken aback last year when another blogger asked a similar question as yours and one of the bloggers who commented said that it really irritated her when people replied to her comments via email. She wanted people to return the visit her blog and only comment there. I was one of the people who replied by email, so I stopped and just left a comment on her blog. However, she never acknowledged it or replied to my comment. Really? How do you form relationships that way? Or maybe she doesn't care about friendships. Anyway, I stopped following her and don't read her blog anymore. I do have some non-blogger readers who have contacted me via email to tell me that even though they don't comment they wanted me to know they love my blog. That is so humbling to me and is one of the reasons I continue to blog. Glad you started the conversation. Happy Spring, my friend!

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    1. Hi, me again. I came back to say that I do visit the blogs of those commenters who have active blogs and comment there, as well as reply to their comment on my blog. I wanted to make that clear, because I do believe it's courteous to return the visit and I've found some really great blogs that way. xo

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  6. Hi AnnMarie,
    So many ways of blogging has changed over the years since I started 10 years ago. At first there was no replying, we all just visited back and forth which I prefer even today. However, so many become closer friends and with those dear friends we do email all the time and share our lives etc.
    I may have explained to you before why I am a noreply comment being that my email doesn't fit with bloggers idea of what they want. I don't change it to another like gmail because with business, I just hate to mess with this after 15 some years. Sometime I reply if needed but most of the time, I visit back to their blog. Most of my friends in blogland know my email address and will reply that way if they want. I don't mind either way, but for me, I am not always free to reply to all the comments. I would rather use the time to visit back as soon as they have a new post up.
    At this point no longer do weekly link events but I do a few seasonal for the holidays etc. I think many are so busy now and doing more FB, IG and Pinterest. I understand things change over time and I am blogging less too but my way of visiting and commenting has not and I just feel that is good blog etiquette!!
    Hope you enjoy a great week and Happy Spring. Blessings xoxo

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  7. Many of us are readers, not bloggers. I reply occasionally, if I have something to say. But most of the time I read anonymously.

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  8. I try to treat others as I'd like to be treated, which for me (blogging 5 years) has been to respond to your comment IF you have a question or the comment was such that a reply is appropriate. I know that sounds non-specific but I think you know what I mean. I feel it is FAR more important to visit and comment on your blog. It always amazes me that a blogger would think it's ok to reply to my comment but not return the courtesy of a visit.

    There are only so many hours in the day, and life is meant to be lived. Between posting, comments, IG, FB, etc., it's all too easy to get burnt out if/when you try to do everything. I think those that pace themselves and are realistic about what they can and cannot reasonably do will last longer as bloggers.

    I have told more than a few bloggers not to worry at all about replying to my comments and they're relieved. I've also heard from a few bloggers that expressed concern that they could no longer keep up with it all and felt guilty. Guilt has no place in blogging. It should be enjoyable and we should only do what feels right. If that happens to be responding to every comment, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. It doesn't mean the blogger doesn't want to make friends or is rude. It may simply mean they have prioritized their time and know what works for them.

    I will admit I enjoy thoughtful responses to my comments and the bloggers that do that stand out in my mind and yes, even my heart, but it's just not something I think I could sustain so I'd rather not start. I wouldn't want anyone to think I know longer care about them! It's all about expectations. (Like your second example).I know one blogger who gets tons of comments and USED TO respond to them all. She couldn't keep up with it but the fact that she still visits me and leaves thoughtful comments shows me that she cares.

    And that's enough.

    XXX

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  9. Interesting question and comments. I do not reply to any comments thru email, however I always visit their blog and leave a comment.

    When I leave a general comment on another blog, I am surprised/baffled to receive an email that simply says "thanks". I read many blogs and do not always leave a comment, but try to comment every few visits, so they know I am still coming by.

    One of my favorite part of blogging is the friendships I have made, however many of the "big" bloggers rarely acknowledge many of their commenters because they get so many comments - - which is too bad this happens.

    I will be checking back to see what other comments you have received- and I agree with above, blogging has changed over the years with FB, IG and Pinterest, but I love to know who is enjoying or has interest in my blog posts!!

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  10. I'm guilty of both! And I feel awful about missing some comments. I usually reply by email because when I reply to the comments on my post, they show up in my email from me as a double whammy. I truly appreciate all of the comments and I always try to make comments when I visit.

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  11. Being newer to blogging (over 1 year in), I struggle with exactly what to do. I try to respond to all comments and also visit everyone else's blogs but it gets to be so time consuming - to the point where I'm thinking of giving up my blog. I love blogging and visiting other blogs but it can be too difficult to squeeze it all in (especially when working full time and having a long commute - there aren't enough hours in the day). When I don't respond to or visit everyone, I feel terrible. So what should one do?

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  12. I try to ALWAYS reply when someone leaves me a comment (unless they are a no reply blogger--and I even have the addresses of some of those so reply anyway). I think it has been a wonderful way to develop friendships in blogland over the years. IF you notice, the people that never replied when you left comments have seen a serious decline in comments. I notice that when I visit their blogs. It does get to be time consuming but I seem to fit it in when and as I can. I also try to visit everyone that has left me a comment because I think it is polite. I have ended up the last year or so visiting old friends the most and rarely seek out new blogs anymore...having all I can do to keep up with the ones i have. However, once in a while someone will pop in and I will find that I have to visit them and then end up following them.
    Hope you have a great night, AnnMarie.
    oh- and I do think Instagram and FB have contributed to the demise of many blogs/bloggers/comments. Sad---but it is a changing world, I think. xo Diana

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  13. I've been wondering the same thing. I always reply to comments and if someone comments on my blog, I will go and comment on their blog, if I haven't already. I often find that people only comment on mine, if I comment on theirs first though. If I haven't had time to comment on their blog that week, they don't come comment on mine.

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  14. In my four years of blogging, I've gone through several changes, based on "conversations" with other bloggers. I started out responding to every comment directly on my blog, because I was under the impression that it simultaneously triggered an email to them with that comment. Eventually, I found out that this was not the case. Then, I responded to every comment by email, which was nice because it created more personal relationships with my readers. And now, although I have the best of intentions to respond to every comment, sometimes life gets in the way, and I get really behind, which makes me feel guilty. At a minimum, I do try my best to visit everyone who visits me, and leave them comments, but even sometimes I get behind with that. And, I try to make the rounds to the blogs I love, even if those bloggers haven't visited me. I would hate to see someone give up on blogging because they don't have time to respond (Kelly, above, if you love blogging, don't give it up!), nor would I want to feel I had to give up mine for that reason. Hopefully, there's some happy medium--and that is that we all do the best we can!

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  15. I try very hard to answer every comment on my blog but I have been guilty a few times of being too busy to reply right away and letting them pile up and never responding. I tried to apologize for that on my blog because I feel so guilty about it. I think that's one reason I slacked off posting so often. I would never purposely hurt someone's feelings by not replying but life does get busy. I know a lot of bloggers I follow and communicate with do not work outside the home so they have more time to read and comment. With my full time job, I have to find balance. I try to visit those who are faithful about visiting me. I try to always leave a comment when I visit as well. Honestly, it all just depends on what is going on in my life as to how often I visit. I do enjoy hearing from and visiting all my blog friends. I just try to do my best and be myself. I enjoyed this post. Have a happy Wednesday! Did your snow ever melt away?

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  16. AnnMarie I feel if someone takes the time to leave a comment, it deserves a reply back. Because of my commitment or perhaps I should be committed, lol, writing and staging my fairy tale books I have less and less time to post blogs or visit. But I do post on IG which I believe is where lots of bloggers are hanging these days.
    xoxo

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  17. Ah! The age-old question! I am a no-reply blogger, but only because I have tried to change it and have lost my whole blog roll twice trying to switch it over! So I don't touch it and there I am, a no-reply blogger. And yes, I feel guilty about that, but until I find a good tutorial for changing it over, I am stuck. I don't go back and read replies on other blogs to my comments, either, unless I have asked a specific question. I just don't have the time. I do try and be a good friend and visit my best blog buddies as often as I can. Sometimes I have more time for that than at other times. I always visit someone who has left me a comment, though. I do appreciate connecting in that way, just going back and forth keeping up with each other's lives and offering up a bit of humor or a little antidote - just finding common ground. I recently had an unwanted male follower emailing me and wanting to be more than a blog 'friend' so I had to take my email address down. It is hard to have that balance of wanting to connect with also being careful of personal privacy. I think of all the people that tell their birthdays and where they live and I cringe.....even though we want to connect, we also have to be very careful. Anyway, I try to be a good blog friend to all my faithful followers who I love so much. xx Karen

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  18. Dear Ann Marie, I think you have posed some good questions for us. For me, I try so very hard to reply back to a comment on my blog. I never have replied back in an email. At first my reasoning for doing it that way was simply because I thought the person would see my reply on my blog. But then I figured out that unless you sign up to see the replies then you would not know that the blogger had commented on your reply. (If any of this makes sense) For me my problem is TIME. And I do not sign up to see comments made as a reply back to me when I am commenting on other's blogs either. Not sure what the right way to do things is either. But I do ALWAYS make an effort to visit every blogging friend that visits me. I think that is showing respect and courtesy. Even if the blog post for that day does not interest you for some reason or another I think it's out of courtesy that I should visit. And for me, for those that have been my faithful blogging friends, I truly want to be a part of their life even it's only through blogging. I most often visit before they do and that's okay too. I actually had a long list of bloggers I followed and I would try so hard to be faithful to comment only to NEVER hear a word from them. Not even a simple "Hello". I have started cleaning up my list and have found that those that we seem to connect in some way or another or the ones I truly consider my blogging friends. Sorry to ramble. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

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  19. I think there is a huge difference in the last year.

    Myself, I try to reply to every comment I get, but then, I have a small following and its easy for me to reply. I know some of the blogs I follow have huge audiences and they NEVER reply to my comments. Not even once in awhile and while I understand why they don't, it's kind of sad because we helped build their blogs to what they are today.

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  20. Interesting question, I will respond by email to every comment. If I am having a giveaway, I'll reset my comment form to indicate that I cannot respond to 200+ comments, but will resume the day after the giveaway day. It is disheartening, as Kim said above, for bloggers with huge followings (but not that many comments) to not respond. I can't always return a visit, but I do try to do that as well. Bloggers that respond on their blogs may not realize that many of us readers follow a lot of blogs, and won't come back to see a response. Plus I comment on blogs from blog hops too, and don't follow every one. I found yours on SYC. When I see a new-to-me blog, I'll usually look around a bit, and add it to my reader if I think I'll be interested to see more.

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  21. I do read ALL comments- and replying to specific queries is a must.

    But replying to all compliments could be quite a task- especially considering that the commenters aren't coming back to check for your replies! they have a life!

    While it's humble to reply (c'mon!), I skip a few posts altogether- haha.

    #shareyourcup

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  22. Good morning AnnMarie. This is a subject near and dear to my heart too. I started blogging long ago when replying to comments was absolutely the right thing to do. In my mind, it's like peeking in someone's window if you don't comment. However blogging is on the public internet so I guess that's the reader's right. I think if people don't have a blog it's pretty hard for them to comment these days. Family and friends have told me that they can't comment. There are some people who set up a Google account just so they can comment. It pains me because we can't reply to them. I want people to know that I appreciate their comments. It's a two way street. :)

    When someone leaves me a comment I try very hard to reply. Sometimes I get too behind and have to just move on to today...you know? I have given up on No Reply Bloggers. It's just too hard to track all of that down.

    I know for a fact that bloggers become friends. ♥

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  23. I have never known what to do, so I'm positive I've never done it right! The first few years I replied to every comment. After awhile you run out of things to say to "Good idea. Thanks" After driving myself crazy answering every comment for years I read a post that recommended always commenting on blogs even if you really didn't have anything to say (or didn't even read the post!) because the blogger would then click over to your blog upping your page views. This seems ridiculously unfair and my comment section was just a line if short comments with me replying 'glad you liked it, thanks for stopping by!' again and again. So I stopped replying to those short non-thoughtful comments and stopped clicking over to visit. Then a funny thing happened...they started to disappear! I got less and less of them. Honestly, if people are only visiting and commenting so I will visit and comment, that's a game I really don't have the time to play!

    Also...I love to visit blog hops! I do add links to most of them but really I'm also there to get content to share on FB, Twitter and Pinterest. I find so many really great things and since everybody posts their newest stuff I always find posts that haven't been shared to death yet and my followers appreciate that. However, when you join between 5-10 link ups a day you get a thank you comment from each one. That is a lot of "Thanks for joining our hop last week, make sure you stop by this week too!" comments on a single post! Now again, I don't know what to say that I don't sound like a broken record so I usually don't answer those. Maybe I'm rude, I don't know. I probably end up with 15-20 quality comments that I try to respond to weekly. I have a day in my schedule that is blog comment day (3 blogs so it needs it's own day!)

    Then there's the spam filter that always catches a few comments that were actually really good with no links and I don't even see them till a month later...because who remembers to check there? lol

    I don't know what the answer is...but I will say that lately the few comments I have left have been replied to and I'm very impressed by bloggers who can reply to everyone and make it sound like a personal reply. That's something I need to work on!

    Lisa

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  24. I try to leave comments on the different blogs I check in on. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't leave comments.

    I usually just read the gals blog who leaves me comments and when she posts something I can relate to I leave a comment.

    I quit reading the blogs that have so many advertisements you can't read because of all the opp up ads, it is so annoying, I know they are making money,however i never thought that was what blogging was about. I thought it wa about us just telling and showing what we are up to this week, like new finds at thrift shops and yard sale and what we painted ? LOL

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  25. This has never changed for me through my over 4 years of blogging, but I have seen it change in bloglandia.

    I reply to 99% of comments because, for me, I think that if a reader has taken the time to read my post and leave me a comment I want them to know how much I appreciate that. I assume that readers who don't want to connect won't leave comments, and I appreciate those visits too.

    Sometimes real life does get in the way and I'll miss responding to the comments on one post here and there, but it doesn't happen very often. I reply right on the blog and use a plug in that sends them to my commenter's email. I used to get all comments to my email but that was way too overwhelming.

    When it comes to visiting other bloggers who comment I don't always get to visit right away because in addition to blogging I work 4 days a week, but I do make the rounds every once in a while. I really appreciate the blogging friendships that I've made and I want to keep them going.

    When I comment on other blogs if I don't get a response or a visit after leaving a few comments I still may follow that blog if I love what they're doing, but I'll stop commenting. I give the blogger the benefit of the doubt and I assume that they just don't have the time to respond to all comments, and because of that they maybe don't even want them.

    I know some big blogs don't respond to comments because they just can't, and there are some that are more interested in traffic stats than comments. I don't think I could ever go there. There have been many times when a reader's comment has really made my day, and I really want my readers who comment to know how much I appreciate them.

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  26. I think alot of the new bloggers don't comment as much. We should teach them lol. Happy Spring.

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  27. I've noticed a change to Ann Marie. I think many bloggers are much more in to Instagram than blogging. I try to reply, but sometimes I'm just too busy and don't get to it. I agree, that it's through those replies that I have developed a connection with sweet ladies like you! I'm fine if people don't reply, but I do feel closer to those who do. Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

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  28. Great post AnnMarie! If someone takes the time to leave me a comment, I take the time to respond and I appreciate the same courtesy when I comment on other blogs. Now there are times, it takes me longer to respond if I get behind catching up on emails, but my intention is always to respond...eventually ;)

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  29. Thanks so much for coming by...I haven't been on my computer as much lately due to Mr. Sweet's medical problems.
    Yes, I do think life gets in the way, sometimes, of our blogging. I try to visit and leave comments as often as I can. I love blogging and hope to get back into it more...right now, I just don't have the heart for it.
    xo

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  30. Hi AnnMarie,

    Yours is the second blog post that I've read in the last two weeks that has asked similar questions regarding blog etiquette and how it has/hasn't changed.

    Ever since I started Poppy View, I have always done the same thing and that is visit the blogger who was kind enough to visit me, as well as leave a comment on their post, too. It is just good manners. I don't have the time to reply to comments, but I appreciate bloggers who do reply to mine, either by email or on their blogs. What's sad about that is that I don't always remember/or have the time to go back and read their reply, that's why emailing it is effective.

    I always follow a blogger who has followed me - always! BUT, lately, I've been finding that when I click onto the GFC pic of a new follower in my 'followers' mosaic, it doesn't always give me the name of the person's blog, and unless they've left a comment telling me that they've just followed me, I cannot always follow back. SO, just yesterday, I added a little blurb asking new followers to leave me a comment so that I can trace their blog and follow them back. WHEW!!!

    I have also noticed lately that when I link up to parties to meet new bloggers and comment on their posts, they don't do the same, and so I am thinking about not joining anymore. Nobody likes being ignored, right?

    Ultimately, though, blogging, for me, is about the friendships that I've made since I first started in May 2012. Some of my very BEST friends are ladies that I have connected with in the blogger hood, despite the fact that we've never physically met in person. We pour our hearts out to each other in emails, chat for hours on the phone and send greeting cards on special occasions. I am so very grateful for them; they are like family, to me!

    Thanks for an amazing post.

    Have a wonderful weekend,
    Poppy

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  31. I do a lot of link up parties and I always wonder why I never hear anything from some bloggers, even if I am featured that week for having the most clicks, yet very few people leave a comment. I love getting meaningful comments because: You get to know someone new, You get useful feedback and it gives encouragement. I try to respond to all of my comments. Since I blog with my daughters, if the comment was on one of their posts, I let them comment. Sometimes I get comments from a link party host that are a little redundant or robotish, often there will be 3 saying about the same thing. Then, I may only respond to one of them, just to thank them for noticing me! Ha Ha! Thanks for sharing this post.

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  32. I think a lot has changed over the years. There are so many forms of social media and so many things to do now if you write a blog. I think most people just do what they can. When someone comments on my blog, I usually answer them pretty quickly IF the comment shows up directly in my email. If they are a no reply blogger or if for some reason, the comment doesn't show up in my email, I try to visit their blog at some point. If they do not have a blog, then I try to leave a comment back under their comment in my blog. I do have mixed feelings about doing that for everyone though because I don't think people are checking back on posts to see if their comment was answered that way...or maybe they are? Lots to think about!
    Shelley

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  33. Well for me sometimes "life" gets in the way of commenting and I just don't have time to stop by all the blogs I subscribe to. I do think though that it is polite to comment back if someone does leave a comment on your post. I've been absent for awhile due to computer issues but hoping to be back on track again.

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  34. You've asked a tough question. When I first started blogging and didn't have a lot of "blogging friends" it was easy to both respond to & visit each of my visitors. Now, with all the wonderful bloggers I've met, I find it hard to do both. I still try to respond to all comments on my blog, but often now I am days late, but I do make it a priority to at least visit each person who has commented, at the very least. I try to do both, but if I don't have as much time, I will at least visit back to their blog. For me, the friendships have been such a blessing, that I love seeing & hearing what is happening in each of my friend's lives. However, life does tend to get in the way at times, and I can't do all that I want to do. It is hard to find that balance, I agree! Hugs to you today, always happy to visit with you :)

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  35. Life is busy for all of us, but if someone gives you the courtesy of visiting your blog and leaving a lovely comment, then I most certainly think one should reply and thank the person for taking the time to visit and comment.....it's just good manners. It is always a delight to visit you, AnnMarie. I hope you are enjoying a lovely week.

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  36. AnnMarie,

    Good Morning! I get all twisted up thinking about this and I have tried a little bit of everything that you mentioned here, including not posting if I knew I couldn't follow up.
    It's complicated isn't it? I am currently doing the best I can do and hopefully that is enough!
    Hope you are doing well:)
    Jemma

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  37. You have a great point, AnnMarie! I TRY to reply back but I can't always anymore because of the store. I have appreciated "meeting" you and others online. Things do seem to change here in Bloggyland but I usually just ride out the waves and I'm still here! I've been blogging since 2008... I remember when everyone had music on their blogs! :)

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Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment...I treasure each one! Do you know if you are a no reply comment blogger? I love to reply to your comments but sometimes instead of an email there is a noreply-comment@blogger.com. It can easily be changed by changing the setting in your blogger profile to "show email address".