Growing up the middle child in a family with four kids is kind of rough. You find yourself being teased more, being left out of things and just generally left behind. The oldest usually pairs up with the youngest. They have it made. The oldest is well, the oldest. More privileges. I wouldn't want that position. The youngest is well, the youngest. More privileges (which translates into getting away with more). I wouldn't want that position either.
I actually have come to like the position I was given because it has separated me, set me apart, to be who I am today. Who I was meant to be all along.
All that teasing and left out stuff followed me through adulthood and has somewhat defined who I think I am and how I see things. I usually don't believe anyone wants to be around me unless I work pretty hard to show them I am fun/ok/worth it. I find it hard to extend myself to others for fear that I am not somebody that they'd want to have be the one calling, or visiting.
I recently went to a Beth Moore ladies' bible study at my church called Breaking Free. It is an excellent study through scripture that shows how to rebuild the ruins of your past through breaking free of strongholds that were set up throughout your life, as opposed to replaying them over and over in your head and trying to fix them on your own. It was a great study. We actually have done this study at church years earlier. This revised edition got the message home for me this time.
After it was over I wanted more of it so I decided to re-read the whole book to keep the concepts and words of encouragement close. Beth Moore is a powerful writer and speaker and does both from experience. I also wanted some praise music to listen to in my truck knowing it would add to the encouragement I needed. I am not a radio person. I don't like the bantering of the hosts back and forth or all the commercials. I finally have a vehicle with a CD player in it so I ordered Mercy Me's newest CD. It's called Welcome to the New.
Remember them? They had the phenomenal song "I Can Only Imagine" a few years back. That's the only basis I had to choose them out of the millions of Christian CD's out there. This CD was just what I was looking for. It is filled with songs that encourage who you are in Christ despite who you think you are or who you were made to feel you are. It was handpicked and recorded just for me. I am so encouraged by so many of the songs but one in particular.
I tried to download the video of the actual song but with no success. So I want to write for you the lyrics and italicize the parts that speak so loudly to me.
It is called Flawless.
"There's got to be more / Than going back and forth / From doing right to doing wrong / 'Cause we were taught that's who we are / Come on get in line right behind me / You along with everybody /Thinking there's worth in what you do / Then like a hero who takes the stage when / We're on the edge of our seats saying it's too late / Well let me introduce you to amazing grace /
No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
Could it possibly be / That we simply can't believe / That this unconditional / Kind of love would be enough / To take a filthy wretch like this / And wrap him up in righteousness / But that's exactly what He did
Take a breath, smile and say
Right here right now I'm okay because
The cross was enough
Then like a hero who takes the stage when / We're on the edge of our seats saying it's too late / Well let me introduce you to grace grace / God's grace
No matter what they say
Or what you think you are
The day you called His name
He made you flawless"
I am sharing with these great blog parties:
Wake Up Wednesday Linky Party
A Little R & R Wednesday Linky Party
Freedom Fridays with all my Bloggy Friends
I actually have come to like the position I was given because it has separated me, set me apart, to be who I am today. Who I was meant to be all along.
All that teasing and left out stuff followed me through adulthood and has somewhat defined who I think I am and how I see things. I usually don't believe anyone wants to be around me unless I work pretty hard to show them I am fun/ok/worth it. I find it hard to extend myself to others for fear that I am not somebody that they'd want to have be the one calling, or visiting.
I recently went to a Beth Moore ladies' bible study at my church called Breaking Free. It is an excellent study through scripture that shows how to rebuild the ruins of your past through breaking free of strongholds that were set up throughout your life, as opposed to replaying them over and over in your head and trying to fix them on your own. It was a great study. We actually have done this study at church years earlier. This revised edition got the message home for me this time.
After it was over I wanted more of it so I decided to re-read the whole book to keep the concepts and words of encouragement close. Beth Moore is a powerful writer and speaker and does both from experience. I also wanted some praise music to listen to in my truck knowing it would add to the encouragement I needed. I am not a radio person. I don't like the bantering of the hosts back and forth or all the commercials. I finally have a vehicle with a CD player in it so I ordered Mercy Me's newest CD. It's called Welcome to the New.
I tried to download the video of the actual song but with no success. So I want to write for you the lyrics and italicize the parts that speak so loudly to me.
It is called Flawless.
"There's got to be more / Than going back and forth / From doing right to doing wrong / 'Cause we were taught that's who we are / Come on get in line right behind me / You along with everybody /Thinking there's worth in what you do / Then like a hero who takes the stage when / We're on the edge of our seats saying it's too late / Well let me introduce you to amazing grace /
No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
Could it possibly be / That we simply can't believe / That this unconditional / Kind of love would be enough / To take a filthy wretch like this / And wrap him up in righteousness / But that's exactly what He did
Take a breath, smile and say
Right here right now I'm okay because
The cross was enough
Then like a hero who takes the stage when / We're on the edge of our seats saying it's too late / Well let me introduce you to grace grace / God's grace
No matter what they say
Or what you think you are
The day you called His name
He made you flawless"
Not in the kingdom of God, I'm not. I am flawless because of who God is, not because of who I am.
I hope you check this CD out and are encouraged by it as much as I am.
AnnMarie xoxo
I am sharing with these great blog parties:
Wake Up Wednesday Linky Party
A Little R & R Wednesday Linky Party
Freedom Fridays with all my Bloggy Friends
Thanks for sharing, AnnMarie. :o)
ReplyDeleteAww...and you'll never be His neglected child, because you're His favorite. :) He has so much goodness for each of us...thanks for sharing your transparent thoughts!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful song! Thanks for sharing the lyrics. I'm sorry you felt bad about being the middle child. Luckily, my daughter doesn't mind it because she likes that we get to learn how to do everything first with her older brother, like all the things that go along with learning to drive, graduation, college, etc. and how we know what to do now with her.
ReplyDeleteSo many good thoughts! As a perfectionist "in recovery", I am learning to come to terms with being imperfect in this life, and I love the imagery of God seeing me as flawless even now, through Christ!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Ann Marie! It is special to know we are all seeking to be loved by others but when we let all of that go and realize the most important one who loves us is God! I will definitely check out their latest songs. I have been inspired by Chris Tomlin and also recently had a chance to see the band, Overflow, at a conference where I was working with the technical crew! Awesome music.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your week!
I am a middle child too! I can relate to that experience, but what adds to my scars is much more than that... living in a broken home provided wounds that go deep within my soul. God is the Great Healer... and I am a walking miracle, as I see it. :)
ReplyDeleteDo you know that I JUST picked up Beth Moore's book on sale at Lifeway and put ten more on hold for my women's group?!!!! Is that amazing? I bought her original "breaking free" and didn't know about her revised edition. I love love love Beth Moore (I have Daniel audio version in my car now- oh dear! I have renewed it so many times I am just realizing I think it is overdue now...from the library. ACK! I digress...)
I have always wanted to read "Breaking Free" And I cannot wait to get into it more so now after reading your post!
Oh Ann Marie, I am just so glad you came by my blog! Thank you for your precious comment, and what a blessing it is to meet you!!! I can't wait to grow our friendship... :) LOVE it when I discover a new soul with a great purpose!
Thank you for opening up and baring your soul here. As you expressed oldest and youngest have their own difficulties. As the youngest and only girl of parents who were old enough to be my grandparents there was a loneliness, in fact, I still long for a sister. I thank God for the blessing of precious sisters in Christ. I love Beth Moore, but have never done the Breaking Free study, looks wonderful!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post and insight. I have also done Beth Moore studies and feel like I learn so much. As you said, each place in the birth line up has it's own set of issues. Glad you were able to work through and see the worth of your place in the line up :-)
ReplyDeleteI've heard such good things about this Beth Moore Bible Study. Good to hear you loved it, too! I must check it out soon.
ReplyDeleteGod is so good to us!
ReplyDeleteDear Ann Marie, The times we go through seem difficult, sometimes very difficult though I continue to look for the window that the Lord opens. Perhaps this is the window you were looking for.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing and I will look for this book. Blessings dear. Catherine xo
Visiting from the group at G+. I haven't heard that CD, but I'll have to put it on my list. :O) Isn't it amazing what God can do? Have a blessed week!
ReplyDelete